Equuality: Reflections on Life with Horses

Sea of Possibilities

About the Book

In the west we are very goal oriented. We know where we want to go, and we are very directed in getting there. This may be useful, but we often forget to enjoy ourselves along the route. -Thich Nhat Hanh

As Tich Nhat Hahn says, we as a society are very focused on achievement and goals. We climb corporate ladders, chase medals and ribbons in sports competitions, and are always looking forward to peak moments in our future. It is a way of living that has accomplished a great deal in terms of technological advancement, but one that has left may of us feeling empty and disconnected. These feelings stem from the fact that we are perpetually asking ourselves, "Are we there yet?" With our minds so occupied by the destination, there is very little energy left to enjoy the journey.

Imagine being lost in the woods, with ample food, water, and equipment, but no idea where to go. In the distance, you can see several mountains above the trees. You can make one of these mountains your goal, a focal point to keep you oriented in your explorations. As you travel you can enjoy the trees, brooks, boulders, and meadows along the way. You can stop and eat your lunch while observing the play of the squirrels or listening to the song of the birds. All the while, you can keep checking in with the mountain as a guide to keep you from wandering in circles.

However, a goal used improperly has the opposite effect. If you focus your eyes only on the mountain's summit and strive single-mindedly to get there, you will have no experience of the beautiful land that surrounds you all the time. Not only that, but you are likely to trip on a log you didn't look down to see!

We come to horses with varying degrees of goal-orientation. Some of us only know that we want to be with them, and we have no idea of what to do once we get there. For others, the first horse experience is as a student in a barn that focuses exclusively on training for high-level competition. Neither is wrong, but they are both extremes that cannot be sustained indefinitely. Those of us with no plan will soon grow listless while those that are too driven will burn out, losing their passion with their energy.

Our goals can either serve us as lighthouses to keep us engaged in the right direction or become white whales that we strive to conquer at any cost. The key is to be conscious of whether we are using them or allowing ourselves to feel used by them.

When used well, a goal gives us a direction in which to move, not a destination to reach. A ship does not set its course towards a lighthouse and sail directly for it without thought. Every lighthouse is set on a rocky beach that would destroy any boat that strived too hard to reach it. Instead, the lighthouse serves as a beacon that a captain can use to keep the vessel in safe waters during his voyage.

I began my horsemanship journey as one of the aimless wanderers, tagging along behind with no vision of my own. As time has passed I have been blessed to have mentors, both horse and human, who have helped me to pick goals that serve me in a healthy way. I find that this process often takes the form of a pendulum. For a while, I will swing towards being direct-line and goal-oriented, then something will open my eyes and I will swing back the other direction. My sense is that the swings of my pendulum are gradually becoming less violent and its arc is growing shorter. I don't hope to reach a state of total stability, as striving for equilibrium could just be chasing hard after another goal. Instead, I try to think of this sense of balance like my lighthouse: a beacon that guides me to a sea of possibilities.