Equuality: Reflections on Life with Horses

Love in Simplicity


About the Book
Simple pleasures are always the last refuge of the complex. -Oscar Wilde

The world we live in is increasingly complex. We live, work, and take our entertainment in increasingly abstract ways that involve an ever-increasing number of choices. Even a straightforward task like buying groceries is subject to this phenomenon. To walk out with a box of cereal we must choose from an entire aisle filled with literally hundreds of different varieties.

The desire to escape complexity is the very reason many of us are drawn to horses. We are looking for something simpler. Something more connected to nature. Something more fundamental. We want to enjoy the smell of the grass, the feel of their coat under our fingers, the sound of their breath in the quiet of the outdoors. In short, when we finally make the break out of the complexity of our regular lives we are at first very content to just be with the horse.

This is how it was for me. I put the first steps on my adult horsemanship path as a simple supportive boyfriend. My partner had ridden at a very high level as a youth and after high school she rescued a mustang and began a new journey with natural horsemanship. I didn't have any goals. I fed grain, scooped poop, put on blankets, held the dog's leashes, fetched tack, and did pretty much any other menial task I was asked. It was nice. I got to enjoy the barn, the casual relationships, and the long walks on the trail as they rode together.

Then something changed. The complexity of the rest of my life began to creep in. I started to feel like I didn't know anything about horses. I learned to "train" them. I started to see their "problems" and feel like I needed to fix them. I did a year of service for a rescue and quickly got caught up in the whirlwind of the politics. I began to have clients and pressure to accomplish goals.

Somewhere in all of that the simple beauty of the experience was lost. I was no longer smelling the dirt or seeing the beauty of the muscles moving smoothly under the skin at the trot. Everything became about goals, checklists, problems, and answers. However, I am lucky. The same beautiful person that got me onto the path of the horse in the first place saw what was happening and brought my attention to it. She showed me that I do not need to take things so seriously. I have begun to see that it is not only ok to enjoy the simple pleasures, it is the only way to live that truly expresses love for the world.

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Partnership is Letting Go

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